I'm A Brainiac, Brainiac....

Get it? You know the song? I'm a maaaaaniac, maniac....

Pathetic. I know.

But seriously. My sons ROCKS at anything computer related. He can find, do, and fix anything on our laptop. Educational games, photo editing, painting....all things my son can do to stimulate and increase his brain power. What does he choose to do? And what does my husband encourage? Command and Conquer. For all you non-nerd folk out there, that is a war game that works with strategy and using your thinker to blow crap up. Stimulating the brain? Sure. Encouraging blowing crap up? Yes.

Ladies and Gentleman, let me introduce you to our nightly education ritual:





Do you see the look on Brandon's face? That is a look of defeat. Isaac wanted to place a bomb or rocket or something in one place and Brandon said it wouldn't work. Isaac said,

"Hush Daddy. Watch."

And you know what? It worked. I have no doubt in my head that my son will be helping me with my college homework in a few years. Score!

A Photo To Make Up For My Lack Of Postings...

“Mom, this candy makes my eye move.”

I’m assuming this explains the sour face? It does not however explain the horrible lighting in which I take my photos. Sorry. Funny things happen when the sun goes down, folks. I am but the (horrible) messenger.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Happy Happy Fall!!!!

#%$&

There has been a lack of posting due to an over-abundance of random crap in my life.

Let me catch you up:

1. My family has fallen victim to H1N1. I think SWINE flu is a rather nice way of putting it. 'Swine' only makes it sound dirty. It should be called 'Dirty Nasty Wild Boar Who Rolled Around In It's Own...' - Oh. What? This is a family blog? Never mind then. Let's just say that it was BAD.

2. Isaac learned the phrase 'you little bastard'. Again, I know this is a family blog, but I'm not going to paint a false picture of my life. 'You little bastard' is something that came out of his mouth and I feel obligated to blog about it. Proud? No. Curious? Of course. (Yes, grandparents and concerned citizens....we have disciplined him. Don't report us.)

3. Booger wiping is an epidemic that is sweeping the nation. My son has fallen ill of this and I find him indiscreetly wiping his nasty little boogers all over my pretty little clean (bahahaha) house. When I catch him in the act, he innocently waves his hands in front of himself and says "Never mind me, mom." This cute little line is also used when he finds himself being a smartass and knows he is about to be in BIG trouble - example: "Uh, I'm trying to watch TV MOTHER. GET OUT OF MY WAY, er.....never mind me, mom."

4. I thought for a good month or so my son wanted to be a 'bonfire' for Halloween. I was like WTH?! A friggin' BONFIRE?! Yeaaaaaah.....Isaac was saying vampire. I think back at all the times I was discussing how we could make him into a bonfire and he would just shake his head. Makes total sense now. He thinks his mother is an idiot and didn't have the heart to tell her.

We did, in fact, go on vacation. I do have pictures. Later. Promise.

My Sidekick. My Partner-In-Crime. My....'Take A Retarded Picture With Mom' Buddy.

I'd like to tell you that this was just a quick random picture. I'd like to say 'Hey, check out the funny picture of us I snapped yesterday'. But..................

No, I made my poor son take like 75 pictures until I didn't look like I was on crack. I get so super excited to be taking pictures with him that I get this face. No words describe it. My eyebrows go 4 inches higher on my face than humanly possible and my eyes look like I'm....special.

This was only successful picture. We had to look mean...for we were about to go get the bad guys hiding on the porch. I had to cut Isaac a deal - you pose for ridiculous pictures, I'll be Robin to your Batman.

I got the better end of the deal. Now that I look at the picture more closely.....we look like a momma platypus and a baby platypus. And yes that is spelled right. I just googled it.

Don't Make Me Put A Hit Out On You.

No big deal. I was cooking dinner tonight (grilled cheese and soup in case you were wondering) and I overhear a conversation between Isaac................and...........a tealight.

Isaac: 'What did you say? What did you say to me?!'
Tealight: .......................
Isaac: 'Imma give you one more chance to talk. Then yer done.'
Tealight: ....................................
Isaac: 'I don't want to do this but you give me no choice.'

Now tell me......what am I supposed to do here?! Discipline him or pay him off for protection?

Grandmaster Matthew and Dirty Coin.

Sounds like a new rap group, right? Oh, no. This is the product of something much greater.

Uncle Matt and Isaac have.....bonded. If you could call it that. When my brother moved back to Winfield, he started insisting Isaac address him at 'Master Matthew'. Matt would act like he couldn't hear a word Isaac was saying until he was properly addressed. Eventually 'Master Matthew' just wasn't enough....it turned into 'Grandmaster Matthew'. It is so stinkin' cute hearing Isaac say it in normal conversation.

So one day, Isaac was in the bath playing with his little Army guys. He was talking in little voices when I heard him say, 'Get over here, Dirty Coin!'. Of course I KNEW this would make one hell of a blog story so I asked what he said.

Me: 'Isaac.....did you just say Dirty Coin?'
Isaac: 'Yes, mom. Grandmaster Matthew calls me that.'
Me: 'Uh......?'
Dirty Coin: 'It cracks me up everytime.'
Me: 'Uh......?'

Heck no, it doesn't stop there. And again, the big reveal happens in the bathtime. My son apparently does his best work naked.

Dirty Coin: 'Mom?'
Me: 'Yes?'
Dirty Coin: 'Uncle Mat-er, I mean, Grandmaster Matthew calls me Zachary Wayne Quagmire. I think that is SO funny.'
Me: 'Uh.........?'
Zachary Wayne Quagmire: 'I'm not Dirty Coin anymore. I still think it's funny, but I really don't know if it's nice or not. It's not a bad word, is it?'.
Me: 'Uh...........................?'
ZWQ: 'He is just so silly. He said he's going to take out my kneecaps. But I told him I would jab him in the throat with my light saber. I would win.'
Me: (are you seeing the trend?) 'Uh......yes.'

So my phone rings at work this week.

Me: 'This is Lindsey.'
Grandmaster Matthew: 'Isaac is no more.'
Me: 'Uh.....?'
Grandmaster Matthew: 'A greater man has taken his place. His name is Isaac Falcon, ZK. He doesn't really like it, but we need to keep calling him that. That is who he is now.'
Me: 'Uh.......okay. What exactly is it that I am calling him.....?'
Grandmaster Matthew: 'Gah, Lindsey. Zombie Killer? He's taken out like six of them in Dad's living room this afternoon.'
Me: 'I'm....so................................proud.'

Never, ever, in my life am I left speechless. My brother continues to amaze me. I just asked Isaac what else he would like to include about Uncle Matt.

"He's really a weirdo and I'm not kidding. I sure love him, I'm not kidding there either."

Dirty Feet.

My favorite things about Bluegrass:

1. John McCutcheon
2. Finally getting out my rope sandals and tie-dye
3. Watching crazy people
4. John McCutcheon
5. Tom Chapin
6. Long lost friends
7. Watching drunk crazy people
8. SO. MUCH. GOOD. MUSIC.
9. Taking pictures of drunk crazy people.
10. John..........Mc..........Cutcheon.


What a weekend! So many great pictures, so little blog space. I can't tell you how much fun it is being sober when so many around you are drunk. I met a man with a parrot. His shirt said 'Saucy Wenches Follow Me". Sadly, it made my day.

I was surrounded by amazing music and great people all weekend. The talent these musicians possess blows my mind. I was born without that gene entirely. My dad can pick up an instrument and just play. I grew up listening to hammer dulcimers, mountain dulcimers, guitars, and more recently mandolins. Keyword there is LISTENING. I can't carry a tune to save my life and I sure as hell couldn't play a darn thing on an instrument - he didn't pass his talent onto me. BUT...he passed on a great love and apprecation for it. Now Isaac? That boy will do something great in his life. Music and/or dancing will be involved. He griped and complained about going to Bluegrass, but as soon as we got down there it was like...."Dirt? Music? Food? Suh-weeeeet".

I have a small obsesssion with John McCutcheon (no, seriously?!) and was so happy to see him this year. I'm a total McCutcheon groupie. I could go into great detail as to why I heart him, but that's not what is important. The important thing is that I got this amazing picture that will be framed on my bedroom wall. Brandon has never understood my strange mind (insert insane laughter here) and my love for Bluegrass music and John McCutcheon just further fuels that. I have to stare at his camoflauge everywhere. He can stare at John:

The amazing Tom Chapin:



Walking into Pecan Grove:

There are all different kinds of camps in the grove. This was Isaac's favorite!

Hanging out with my boy on the midway (fooooooood!):

MOMMA!!!!

Halloween Hint

Can anyone guess what my sweet little boy will be for Halloween?

Little Moments....

While we try to teach our children all about life,

Our children teach us what life is all about.

2009 Music Video of the Year

Let me preface this by saying that I am singing and I am sorry. I know I am not Shania Twain although you wouldn’t know it by how I freely warble away in this video. When I started filming I didn’t know what an EPIC movie I was shooting. I thought my quiet little whisper of singing would be drowned out by my car stereo and The Zac Brown Band. Sadly, my mouth was DIRECTLY in front of the mic on my camera. What the hell, Zac Brown?! I blame you.

Isaac loves the song ‘Whatever It Is’ by the aforementioned group, The Zac Brown Band. He knows almost every word and it’s become ‘our’ song. I pulled up to my house Saturday night and had both the kids with me. I let them out of the car and let them play in the yard while I finished my jam session with Jason Aldean. The second ‘Whatever It Is’ came on, Isaac was ready to boogey. And I was ready with my camera. You are so welcome.





Okay, I know this one is long, but stick with it. Gracie does some interpretive dancing/tai kwon do at the end that is just amazing/hysterical/slightly scary.




And with September comes THE WALNUT VALLEY BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL!!!! I don’t give a hoot if you don’t listen to Bluegrass music, this festival is made for everyone. I remember sitting on my balcony in California and seeing the infamous “I Can’t – I’m Going To Winfield” bumper sticker. Our town’s population doubles and the energy of the fairgrounds is just soooo laid back. My mom and I were talking about it this weekend and she said it perfectly – it’s the spirit of Bluegrass that we love so much. There is no such thing as a stranger – everyone is your friend. The people are so eclectic and so is the music. Down one dirt road there is a hillbilly with a washboard and a banjo and right around the corner there is a jam session with mandolins, guitars, fiddles, etc.,. No one cares who you are or what you do. It’s a family. My brother and I drove through the grove the other night and it’s already packed. The festival is only 5 days long, but for two weeks before the festival there are thousands camping. And glory, glory, halleluiah – I get to be me! There is tie-dye everywhere! And I’m not the only one in rope sandals!!! Wooo!!!! And you bet your sweet little BUTT my kiddo is rocking the tie-dye too. He is totally in his element down there. So there may not be too much blogging going on this week. You can find me in the Grove =)




Those are the campers and tents at the Fairgrounds. The bottom of the picture is cut off, but that's Pecan Grove - where the REAL party is!!!

P.S. Thank you Brandon for working your butt off this weekend doing security so we could have free tickets. Isaac and I love you more than you will ever know. MUAH!!!!

Sniff, Sniff, Sob, Sob.

My sister sent me these videos she took years ago....and I just found them. Time flies when you are having fun...and wreaking havoc on society. You're welcome, Earth. He's all yours. And I know the second video is a broken file...you will have to put up with only seeing 1/2 second of his screaming until I can find the original one!

NOTE: Put clothes on our next kid.

Oh, School....How We've Missed You.

Today was Isaac's first day back to school! Wooo!!! He's been ready for a while, asking us when he was going to go back to 'normal school' (which I believe means NOT Sunday School). He laid out his clothes last night and was very specific when he told me what SHOES he wanted to wear (which, by the way, I'm looking for a bigger size...anyone find a size 10.5 or 11 in black one-star Converse low-tops, holler at me. Life will end when these shoes are outgrown.) He looked so nice. I can't believe this is his 2nd year going to school. He is just too grown up. Isaac thinks it's "SUH-weeeet" that he is the only kid that has long hair. It's starting to curl in the back. Momma loves it! Okay, I got off track there. I get started on sweet-boy's luscious blonde locks and I get lost. Sheesh. He seems to really like his new teacher, Ms. Kristi, and I think he's happy to be back at school. There. Now....Let's talk about his hair some more.

It is TOTALLY his decision to grow his hair out. He's old enough to choose colors of shirts and shoes, and by golly, how he wants his hair. If all my son asks for is to grow his hair, can I really complain?

Isaac cannot STAND to have his hair spiked up. He will have none of that tomfoolery. I'm scheduling an appt. to trim it up and I guess we'll start training it to fall to the sides instead of hanging in his eyes like Shaggy off of Scooby-Doo. I can't even tell you how many people have said I needed to give my son a haircut. It's like me walking up to someone and telling them they should change their lipstick because it looks heinous. In fact, next person to tell me to cut my son's hair, I'm going to. I'll let you know if it comes to blows and let's hope she is a not a woman of great size.

There Is Absolutely No Title That I Could Think Of That Would Suit This Amazing Video.

Here's Looking At You, Kid.

So hey. Isaac is four now. I could blog about his birthday party, but you wouldn't believe me. Harry Potter was there. How did I do it you may ask? I don't reveal my secrets, thankyou. (Okay, so I work with a wonderful lady who's son looks JUST like Harry Potter. She asked him, I gave a puppy dog face to him, SHABAM. That's my secret.)

But, seriously Isaac - you are an amaaaazing 4 year old. I swear I'm not biased, you really are a genius. You are my best friend and have an energy that lights up my life. You're laughter is infectious and your smile is so genuine. You are my greatest joy.

Now, the good stuff. You dance, jump, and boogey to the beat of a different drummer, my child. You want your hair long like a hippie and have a love for music. You make the cutest comments:

"I can't wait to open up Jesus's birthday presents."

"I love you all the way behind the moon and daddy's back."

"Man, mom you gave me alot of cheese. That means you really love me a lot."

"I shot a tiger. It's okay though, he was with the bad guys."

"The bad guys have girlfriends, but I didn't get them. I left them in the yard because it's not nice to hurt a girl."

"I don't know what rockstar that is, but someone should tell him he's amazing."

"My mommy lets me be weird."

We dance in the living room and we don't care who watches. You lip-sync 99% of the time, because that's what you see mommy do. I sound like a dying goat when I sing and I hope that you learn to use your voice instead of just mouthing the words (ask Hawa about Grandpa Barlag and his quote - "I, even I, will sing unto the Lord"...you'll get a kick out of it, buddy). We hunt for bad guys and protect the world from all things evil. Right now, your favorite color is purple and you want to be a purple rockstar for Halloween. Your converse and your 'skateboarder shoes' are your favorites. You still love Thomas the Train, but now have a love for Star Wars, Harry Potter, and iCarly. Mommy has a friend that is on iCarly every once in a while and you love to get excited and scream "I KNOW HER!!!". I have passed my love for Silver Dollar City down to you and you ask to go at least once a week. You are a Wii Master. I challenge ANY adult to a showdown - you will whoop them up, down, and sideways. You love going to movie theaters and always ask 10 minutes in if the movie is almost over. Frisbee and soccer are a few of your favorite games, as well as baseball, which is usually played with the skinny edge of a tennis racquet. Your heart is so big and sometimes I can't believe it's all held in that tiny body.

If you remember ONE THING in this crazy world, please remember that you are perfect just the way you are. Every single hair on your head and every crazy thought in your mind is exactly how it is supposed to be. You're my superhero, my Mr. Fixit, my confidant, and my best friend. That drummer that you dance to? It's the same one I've been jammin' to my whole life. And I've had a lot of stinking fun, kid.

Soooooo Predictable...

Well, Dr. D - you were right. I'm blogging about it. But, seriously....I am so proud of my boy! I sat down with Isaac and told him about shots. I didn't sweeten it up, I just told him - Son, they are going to stick a needle in your leg. It will hurt, but it will be over SO quick...and you will get showered with love and hugs and kisses after it. He got upset, but knew he couldn't go to school without them. Yesterday morning, he was pumped. He was ready. Bring. It. On.

We walked across the street to the Doctor's - and Isaac was in SUCH a good mood. Two nurses in, two needles in the thigh, ABSOLUTELY no tears, and a cute little "That didn't hurt so bad, mom" - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! Wooo! I feel so bad that I had little to no faith in my sweet Isaac. I pictured Brandon and I holding him down while he beat the hell out of the nurses. Oh well. There's always next time =) Oh, and his wonderful nurse (we'll call her J for the whole privacy thing) gave him a handful of stickers and two, count 'em TWO, pencils for school. Isaac was so happy to have a G-Force sticker that he told me to take a picture for my blog. That's right folks....he encourages my behavior!!!

Thankful Thursday

Okay, bloggers - I've seen your 'Wordless Wednesday' and I love it. Sadly I forgot to update last night. Soooo.....

You get Thankful Thursdays now. Every Thursday (hopefully...) I am going to let all you sweet blog-people know what I am most thankful for in my life. And of course I will use photos to prove it, because a post just isn't complete without a picture. But mainly because I have a really cute kid.

Here goes!!! My first Thankful Thursday!



I am thankful for the joy that I have in my heart. I never want to know life without joy. It's the 'on-top-of-the-world-superhero-soaring-through-stars' feeling every minute of every day, no matter what that day has brought me. It's going to bed at night knowing that I have life, love, and happiness. It's thanking the Lord that I get to live another day and trying to share my joy - usually shared in an awful joke or a cheesy smile. It's being 25 and singing LOUD in my car with my son. It's laying in bed at 2 a.m. with my husband, laughing hysterically at his ridiculous impersonations. It's being able to laugh when I dump coffee all over my desk. It's curling up with a good book and a quiet house. And it's thinking of this song everytime I hear the word joy (thank you Trinity Lutheran Chapel):

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Where?
Down in my heart!
Where?
Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay

And it's true!!!! Thanks Mom. I learned this from you.

Quite Possibly The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Seen

NOTE: I spent an HOUR - I repeat - AN HOUR - trying to rotate this %&$*&# clip so you would not have to tilt your head to watch it. Did you friggin' know that there is no easy way to do that?! It takes 3 college degrees and a black belt just to rotate a video. And my cheap butt ain't buying no software to do it (horrible grammar and redneck words just fly out of my mouth when I'm pissed). Take THAT software developers!!!!

I repeated this over and over and over and over and over. My favorite part? The shrug at the end. You see her glance over at her daddy and then it's like, 'whatever' and she walks off.

Over and over and over and over. It's funnier every time.

Crazy Cousins

Yesterday, Brandon and I took Gracie and Isaac to Chuck E. Cheese. Clean, No. Fun, HECK YES!!!! I DO NOT like Chuck E. Cheese. It's a breeding ground for germs, viruses, and Lord knows what else. But, my son and Gracie had an absolute ball. In between handwashings, of course.

We followed up Chuck E. Cheese with an yummy Orange Julius at the mall and some good ol' rocket launching while driving home. We sure a safe, clean bunch of hooligans, eh?

If you've never met my niece, Gracie, you need to. She is a pistol; a fun, sparkling kiddo with an incredible personality and a quick wit. Her laughter is infectious - it sounds like bubbles erupting out of her and I can't help but laugh when I hear it. She's a Sawyer through and through - she likes earrings and barbies, but knows the difference between a shotgun and a rifle. While her and Isaac bicker like siblings, they make each other laugh more than anything. They've been able to spend more time together the past few weeks than they have in their whole lives. Uncle Matt and Isaac have bonded, too and are sure to be hunting/fishing buddies in the years to come. I think in a few weeks, Matt and Brandon will be taking the kiddos camping at the lake with Papa. Papa doesn't know it yet, but they'll have a blast. And mommy will be able to update the blog in the piece and quiet. See? Everyone wins.

Isaac vs. The Duck

Dear Wal-Mart clearance aisle,

Please don't ever leave us. You provide my son and I with hours of endless entertainment and discounted prices on random crap we don't need. It's because of you we continue to survive in this crazy retail world.

Love,

A dedicated shopper and her protege.

Typical Morning At The East Household

I don't feel any more words are needed. And yes, Brandon is asleep.

My Boys

Happy Birthday, Daddy! This picture just happens to be one of my favorite pictures of all time. I snapped it with my phone, so it's not clear - but it's perfect. Just pure magic, if you ask me.

The Curious Case of Isaac East

I know, I know. I promised a video. I'm experiencing what people like to call a lack of motivation. I'll trade you a video for two pictures.

My son, from a very early age, was a tiny old man. He's like my own little Benjamin Button. My dad has taken care of Isaac since he was 6 weeks old and Isaac has picked up some if his mannerisms and gestures. When he was about 11 months old, he started grunting when he would bend over. He cleared his throat like a little gentleman and would even straighten his eyebrows at about 2 years. Now he claims to be blind without glasses, this claim comes complete with a squinty face.


Exhibit A:

And who can forget the lovely Exhibit B:



Problem solved.

Light-Sabers and The Cool Dude.

Whew! It's been a while! I never understood why my parents liked getting their four children involved in summer activities...until I had my own child. Wow. It's like Isaac just. doesn't. stop. Is it just this age? There are times that I just want to sit on him. Like, say, RIGHT NOW. I'm sitting here attempting to work on the blog and he is attempting to invoke a pet riot in the living room. All I see is ONE toy, TWO dogs, and NO chance of all THREE animals making it out of this alive. Yes, I just counted my son as a pet.

Funny conversation from last week:

Isaac: 'Hey mom. Pass me my light sabers.'
Mom: 'Uhhh.....when did you get light sabers?'
Isaac: 'Mom, Howie and Papa gave me a whole bunch of them. Just find them.'
Mom: 'Hey, I am. Watch your mouth.'
Isaac: 'I am watching it. You know what it's saying? Find my light sabers.'
Mom: 'I see this conversation is going nowhere. What does your light saber look like?'
Isaac: 'Oh! Here they are! I never thought I would find my Star War candy anywhere.'
>Isaac proceeds to pop a LIFESAVER into his mouth.

Did you follow? There was some confusion between LIFESAVER and LIGHTSABER. He is his father's son, huh?!

SO many pictures to post and I apologize that this has taken so long. Sadly, here is ONE. I know, what a tease. But, I will give you lots of pictures and even throw in an AWESOME video from 4th of July - if you can wait until later this week.



Brandon's been working some overtime and I am enjoying(?) some weeks with fewer hours at work. It's been nice spending more time with Isaac at home. Of course it's crazy wild and it makes me want to hug any single and/or stay at home mother and buy her a drink. A very strong drink.

Okay, now - I desperately need to get some sleep. My body is revolting against me and I desperately need to go to the doctor. BUT...because I think my doctor reads this blog I will throw in that I think I'm just fine. It's my husband that is urging me to go. I should probably also throw in that I live across the street from the doctor's office....not like I have to put in much effort. I am the epitome of ridiculous when it comes to the doctor. He is one of the most wonderful men you will ever meet (and I mean that too!), but I just don't like going to the doctor. Plain and simple. Anywho, if you don't hear from me by Friday, call my doctor and tell him to meander on over across 19th and make sure I'm still kicking.

Love,
The Mama Bear.

Summer Lovin', Had Me A Blast......

Don't you just love the movie Grease? Everytime I hear someone say summer, I automatically think of John Travolta hitting that high note at the end of the song. Sad, but true. I actually get that same cringing feeling about summer that I do about that note..........

BUT...Isaac is thoroughly enjoying his summer. We have him enrolled in tumbling/gymnastics and swimming. He seems to really enjoy tumbling. Swimming starts in July and I think he will love it. So far this summer Daddy has been on doubles and mommy is on reduced hours. Isaac's schedule is a little mixed up and I think it's put him in a funk. I am sick and therefore NOT wanting to go outside in the 100 degree/90% humidity hell. He is not the type of child to want to be inside...at all. Siiiiighhhhhhhh.....

So here I am. It's 8 o'clock in morning and I'm sitting on the front porch. Pretty sure it's pouring down rain and still 95 degrees. Bllleeeehhhh. But Isaac's happy though. Further proof that he might be better off as an only child. Although we did have an indepth conversation about how babies are born. He seems to think that he needs and/or already has a sister. My dear sweet friend Charli is about two months pregnant and after explaining this to Isaac (there will be no big belly yet, Isaac, the baby is tiny...but it's growing!), I was met with a blank stare and a tiny voice asking, "How will her baby get out when it's big?". So I did what any good mother would do and I lied. Well, not lie, but omitted. I showed him my c-section scar and I told him the story of his birth. Somehow the child is not traumatized and my story seemed to be sufficient enough to ease his.....uneasiness. Ask Isaac someday how babies get out. He mumbles something about babies big heads, sewing mommies tummy, and gluing stuff back together. Not quite how I told the story, but it will do....

:)

Like, WHOA.

My sweet innocent THREE year old and I were in the driveway. I look in the rear view mirror only to see him deep in thought. Being the kind, loving mother that I am, I quickly turn around and see what is troubling my son. He looks me right in the eye and says......

"Mom, did you know that there is no fence around Mexico?! Crazy, huh. They don't even make him wear leashes."

Uhhhhhhhhh.....WHAT?! Don't know who taught him that, but the first thing I thought is that they better thank the Lord above that it was repeated somewhere that only I heard it. Then I realized that he must have thought Mexico was a dog's name.

Oooohhhh, to see the world through a child's eyes is amazing. And comical.

My Green Thumb Astounds Even Me.

WOOOOOOOOOOO!

I wish I could express in blog form how excited I am. You've read about my expertise on plant life here. Well, I'm a changed woman!!! A plant. has. bloomed. ON. MY. PROPERTY!!!!!!

See, this is the life I come from. Lush. Green. Amazing. A plethora of plant life.

And this is my single victory:

One small step for me, a huge leap for plantkind.

Desperate Times Call For.....Desperate Looking Dogs.

I pride myself on being somewhat thrifty. I don't buy clothes for any of us unless they are on sale. I shop the sale ads. Times are tough and as far as I'm concerned they are only going to get tougher. My hours at work have been cut and I'm working anywhere between 24-32 hours. It's not fun, but we are learning to have fun with my extra time. Brandon and I decided to not turn the air on until June 1st. There were some nasty hot days in there, but it wasn't too bad. We've had some other adjustments and >gasp< we've survived!!! But.....our dogs might not.

Brandon had the bright idea to buy dog clippers. I totally agree that with two dogs, bathing and grooming them ourselves would be soooo much cheaper. But....and it's a BIG but....WE HAVE A SHIH-TZU!!!! Those dogs are not meant to be owner-groomed unless that owner is a professional.

I set out to the garage to begin the grooming. Of course it was me. Brandon bought the clippers so I could do it. Patience is not one of his greatest virtues...

Chewy is a sweet cuddly dog. When you come at him with a giant vibrating razor, not so much. He went catatonic. I am a woman. I do not shave my head. I don't actually KNOW the best way to use a pair of clippers. I brushed the dog and thought I would just shave the darn thing. Nope. Sweet tiny Chewy has a coat that resembles an Alaskan Grizzly bear. I couldn't find his skin. Like, TWO hours went by and I just kept shaving him. The hair was never ending. Then I got to his legs. Yikes. That is all I am going to say.

The highlight of that morning was shaving my dog's butt. Yes, his butt. Have you ever seen 'The Great Outdoors'? One of the best John Candy movies ever made. Rent it. Rent it only so you can see the legendary bear. With the bald butt. Why you ask? Because that is what my dear Chewy looks like. I had some clipper issues and removed the guard. It was me vs. some tangles and my patience had run thin. Chewy now runs around with a nice 3/4" haircut and a bald ass. It's amazing. I have never laughed so hard...by myself in the garage.

There is no photo evidence of this morning for my dog's sake.

Curse You, Humidity!!!!!

We just got back from Arizona, and don't get me wrong...it's HOT, but there is a SMIDGE of truth to the whole "it's a dry heat" crap. This Kansas humidity is ridiculous. It's only 83 outside, but my hair is sticking to the back of my neck two minutes after I go outside.

Cousin Morgan's wedding was beyond beautiful and the location was amazing. Isaac was DARLING in his tux. I stepped out of my box and wore a red dress. For those of you who know me well, pick up your jaw. I know, it's a dress and LORD it's red. To be quite honest I felt like an leprechaun in a tutu. People may point and say 'how cute!' when they walk by, but all the poor leprechaun can think about is how ridiculous it must look. I know, I know, I'm crazy (but you now have an image of a leprechaun in a red dress in your head and I bet it's hilarious!). I'm glad I wore it and I hope to get a chance to wear it again. Brandon looked great. It's been 5 years since our wedding and 5 years since I saw him in a tux. It will probably be another 5 years until I see him in another. Very handsome though.

Now that we are back home, it's back to working on the house. Or NOT working on the house, which is what I've been doing lately. It's such a mess and Isaac is not so good on the cleaning up after himself thing. In fact, he's on the other end of the cleaning spectrum. He's a filth tornado. Oh well. Rather be happy and dirty than clean and grumpy. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.