The Things That NO One Told Me.

I heard so many different things when I was pregnant. This will change my life. Nothing will ever be the same from now on. Once I saw his face, life would make sense. Motherhood will be the most beautiful, inspiring thing you have ever experienced. These 'pearls' have proved themselves to be true over and over again in the last 3 years. There are times (let's be real, I'm a pansy, I do it a lot...) that I look at my son and I cry. I am so proud of who he is and what he does. He's THREE for pete's sake, it's bound to get so much worse. People were right, I never KNEW my heart could know such love. But what about the stuff no one ever told me? There is so much that people forgot...or maybe just wanted me to find out for myself.

1. Parenting is by far the most difficult things I have ever done. Not because I struggle with disciplining Isaac, more due to the fact that I have no SELF discipline. Do you know how HARD it is to put a sobbing child in time out that is screaming, "Does this mean we aren't friends anymore?!"

2. Who in the HELL forgot to tell me that parenting is so friggin' FUNNY?! Here I go with self-discipline again. I simply cannot stop laughing at my son. Yes, he is mouthy, but what he says is the TRUTH! I can't discipline my son for speaking his mind, especially when he does it so honestly. Example #1: I like to crouch down and get on Isaac's level when I talk to Isaac. We have this thing where all I have to do is say 'eyes' and he looks at me. I try not to get in his face, but sometimes when I am trying to talk to him, I am RIGHT THERE. He looks me square in the face and says, "Mom, your face bothers me right now. Please close your mouth and walk away." OF COURSE it angers me, but he isn't saying it hatefully.
Example #2: I got new glasses. Isaac broke my old ones when he was about a year old. The whole side piece broke off and I have been sporting opera style glasses for over two years now. It was far overdue. I asked Isaac if mommy looks nice in her new glasses. He says yes and continues to say sweet things..."you are beautiful, mommy"...."so cute!"......"I love your face with glasses on them!". I don't wear them regularly, just when my eyeballs can't handle 16+ hours a day with contacts plastered to them. Once a week, maybe. Last weekend, I wore them Friday and Saturday. I popped my contacts in when we were running uptown and he says...innocently and very matter-of-factly..."Mom, no glasses look ugly. I got used to your face when it wears glasses."

Let me repeat, he is NOT mean. He is very nice to his friends at school and his teachers have sung his praises many times. It is the pure innocence of his thoughts that amazes me. Brandon and I don't hold back when talking to Isaac. We address him as an adult so maybe we have created this fact-generating child? My fault or not, I do teach him to say things more nicely. BUT....not before turning my head and laughing my chubby little butt off.

Emergency Situation

Isaac: "Mommy, I really want that train!"
Mommy: "Isaac, that is a train statue. The wheels don't even move. Let's look at something that won't break so easy and one that you can have more fun with."
Isaac: >proceeds to throw fit in the aisle of Hobby Lobby<
Mommy: "C'mon, Isaac, let's go, we're not going to do this right now..."

>Enter crazy old man<

Old man: I have trains like that all over my house. I started collecting 'em about 60 years ago, and they're not for little people. They'll break and not be worth anything.
>he continues to talk for a good 2 minutes about the value of a mass produced balsa wood train<

Isaac: >looks at old man and raises his eyebrows<
Mommy: "Yeah, that's what I was trying to tell him, but you know three year olds...they want what they want when they want it!"
Isaac: >flips open an imaginary cell phone and begins to dial< "I'm calling the police....I don't know you, stranger."
Mommy: >While trying to talk over Isaac so the poor old man is not offended, Mommy makes awkward small talk....all while trying not to laugh hysterically<
Isaac: "Yes, police? I need some assistance here. I've got a situation."
Mommy: "Isaac, let's go. Now."

>We proceed to the checkout line without the train, and I very quickly usher out my sarcastic, and now crying, child.<

Ahhhhhhhhh, the joys of having a witty kid.

Krabby Patties and Appliance Hell.

I spent the weekend at a scrapbooking ''convention". It's the first time since Isaac was born that I was away for two nights! It was only in Wichita, but I missed the boys SO much. They drove up on Sunday to eat breakfast with me, so I tried to get my Isaac lovin's in that hour. I got some great scrapbook pages done and really enjoyed spending some time with my momma.

Isaac discovered that Wal-Mart has gummy Krabby Patties. This is apparently the GREATEST creation in the world to three year old little boys. He collects all the change he finds and when he walks into Wal-Mart, he runs STRAIGHT to the candy aisle and grabs 2 boxes. Somehow the little guy knows how many boxes he can get with what money he has. Daddy and I have had to ration his Krabby Patty intake. Isn't that hilarious? We have never had to worry too much about him eating too much candy. He loves it, but he loves green beans, peas, carrots, oatmeal, cheese and yogurt WAY too much to get full on candy. We got very lucky with a son that loves healthy food.

Brandon and I were under the house working on some duct work and waterpipes while my dad was watching Isaac in the living room. I heard Isaac's little voice holler down, "Have you reached the center of the Earth yet?!"

It's been a year full of appliance deaths. Last March our washer died. No warning, no final hoorah, just DIED. In November, our water heater blew up. In January, our fridge light went out and we thought it was just the light. Turns out it was the whole stinkin' electrical panel. It gradually quit cooling and I have to admit, I was NOT sad. Yes, NO ONE wants to have to buy a new fridge, but our fridge was AWFUL. We got the deal of the century on a new fridge and paid HALF what we thought we would. If an appliance is going to die, dying when there is lots of clearance model fridges at Sears is the time to do it!

I'm hoping to put some photos of my scrapbook pages up here for everyone to admire:)

The Thinker.

Isaac is learning "Big B, Little B, What begins with B?" this week. He's also trying to find as many hearts as he can when he is out of school. So far, everything looks like a heart - his skittles on the table, the bubbles in the shower, rocks, the list goes on and on.

Isaac and I were busy little bees all weekend. Our refridgerator went out and he was helping mommy at Sears. He put his finger on his chin like he was thinking and told me that he thinks we better go with one that gets really cold...because he only likes cold milk. He really enjoys being mom's helper and is so much fun when we are out and about. People get such a kick out of him and his sense of humor. He is very witty and never fails to ask questions....about everything. We love it and try to answer the best we can..."Mom, why does ice cream melt?". Like I said, we try to answer the best we can, but there are times that Brandon and I look at each other and are just plain stumped. High school chemistry escapes me and I have no easy answer.