I Have Raised Some Quality Entertainment.

As most of you know, my son is rather witty. He says things that make me swell with pride and quite frankly, jealousy. To speak with the innocence and honesty of a child is amazing and hysterical to say the least. Most of them are directed at me or Brandon.

I, as his victim - ahem - I mean mother, laugh and correct him as needed.

I think it’s kind of great how the public's acceptance of speech works. When you are young, it’s innocent honesty, you know "kid's say the darndest things!". When you are old, you get to use the ol’ with age comes wisdom card. Have you been to shitmydadsays.com? I follow him on twitter and facebook. HILARIOUS. I feel like I should start a site. Shitmysonsays.com perhaps?

On beauty:
“Mom, you are even beautiful when you wake up and have those one glasses on.”
“Mom, I love the heck outta yer face.”

On love:
“Ugh. My girlfriend at school dumped me.”
Me: “ I am so sorry! What did she say?”
“Hey fool. I’m breaking up with you because you are odd. And a little awkward.”

Video Evidence of this conversation to follow….

On laughing at inappropriate times:
“You can’t fight funny. You just can’t.”

On promises:
“That’s right or my name isn’t Isaac Shawn East. Well….It still will be, but I’m not wrong.”

On diversity:
“Mom, I do like black girls. I do. Brown ones, black ones, light ones like me…whatever. Just not fat ones.”

Yes, I know the last one is pushing it. I never said the stuff he said wasn’t offensive. He now calls them fluffy.

He picked up a few choice bad words from a boy at school. I’m blaming someone else and their mother. That’s where Isaac said it came from and that’s what I’m sticking with. I went to my parent’s on my lunch break to hang out with Isaac for a few. Haley informed me (and Haley, I am counting on you to be the informant until he’s at least 20) that he got in trouble for saying a bad word.

-Isaac was carrying my sister’s dog and apparently she leapt for freedom…
“Nocchi, you little bastard.”

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

I asked Isaac where he learned it and without missing a beat, he sold out his classmate. He proceeded to explain how he now knows it’s a bad word and there was no need to keep talking about it (AHEM….BRANDON).

Favorite Part: SHE IS WAY OFF THE LINE.

Favorite Part: YOU DON'T LOVE ME, YOU LOVE YOUR MOM!

And then the DARLING look on his sweet face when he says 'I love you.'

I keep notes on my cell phone. Any time he says anything funny, I make a new note. I ran out of room.